99. Finding Answers + Figuring Out My Child with Amanda Rausch

Keep. Asking. Questions.

I'm so lucky to be joined for this episode by my client, friend and hairstylist, Amanda Rausch. She's celebrating a recent diagnosis for her oldest that finally makes so much sense, but it's really a culmination of years and years of advocating for him that started in pregnancy.

Her story is a really down-to-earth, inspirational example of trusting your gut, finding answers, and then finding more answers when the first ones just don't fit.

Even if a provider is condescending to your concerns, you get unsolicited advice or crickets from friends and family, or you don't know where to go for answers for your child next... listen to your gut and keep searching.

Your child's well-being is worth it!

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• How to request a new provider, no matter how awkward it may be
• Scripts to use to help get extended family on board + on the same page
• A "behind the scenes" look into their journey of considering medication for their child

DON'T MISS-

• Steps to take to go from fighting against your child to working WITH them
• What has made all the difference in Amanda's confidence as a mom (likely not what you expect!)

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
A Dragon with ADHD book
The Boy with BIG BIG Feelings

I believe in you & I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Schedule a FREE Consultation: Wholeheartedly.as.me/call

Transcript

Amanda Rausch: 0:00

I think it really helped to just open that door, I had to let my guard down and be very vulnerable and just say, Hey, this is taking a lot for me to come to you and say, you know, I know you each raised your own set of kids, but this is what we feel is gonna be right for him. And can we do that together? And it wasn't easy. I mean, I was nervous to have those conversations, but the way they played out was such a breath of fresh air. And I think you've got to give the people closest to you, the grace that they're going to be able to hear you on those moments. Because they love your kids just as much. They're they're on the same team.

Danielle Bettmann: 0:39

Ever feel like you suck at this job? Motherhood, I mean, have too much anxiety. And not enough patience. Too much yelling, not enough play. There's no manual, no village, no guarantees. The stakes are high. We want so badly to get it right. This is survival mode. We're just trying to make it to bedtime. So if you're full of mom guilt, your temper scares you. You feel like you're screwing everything up. And you're afraid to admit any of those things out loud. This podcast is for you. This is Failing Motherhood. I'm Danielle Bettmann. And each week we'll chat with a mom ready to be real. Showing her insecurities, her fears, your failures and her wins. We do not have it all figured out. That's not the goal. The goal is to remind you, you are the mom your kids need. They need what you have. You are good enough and you're not alone. I hope you pop in your buds. Somehow sneak away and get ready to hear some hope from the trenches. You belong here, friend. We're so glad you're here. Hey, it's Danielle. If you've ever felt crazy, because others don't see what you see in your child, or felt like others you open up to just don't get it. This episode will feel like a balm to those wounds. On today's episode, I'm so lucky to be joined by my client, friend and hairstylist, Amanda Raush. Amanda is a mom to two boys ages five and a half and two. She's wise in her years of motherhood from the ups and downs that she has been through already. I asked Amanda if she'd join me, because she's celebrating a recent diagnosis for her oldest that finally makes so much sense. But it's really a culmination of years and years of advocating for him that started in pregnancy. Her story is a really down to earth, inspirational example of trusting your gut, finding answers, and then finding more answers when the first ones just don't fit. In our conversation. She shares advice on how to request a new provider when you're just not jiving with yours, no matter how awkward it may be. She shares language and how she's gotten extended family on board and created game changing consistency, as well as what she attributes her confidence to. I know with certainty that the trajectory of at least one listeners' family will be radically altered after hearing what Amanda has to share. So let's dive in. Welcome to Failing Motherhood. My name is Danielle Bettmann. And on today's episode, I'm joined by Amanda Raush. Welcome, Amanda. Thanks for joining me.

Amanda Rausch: 3:36

Hello, thank you for having me.

Danielle Bettmann: 3:39

I'm so grateful for your willingness to join me because you are like, one of my very first clients years ago. And then you have worked with me and like several different iterations over like the evolution of Wholeheartedly and I'm just so grateful for your support, but even more proud of the mom that you are today. And I think it's going to be such a treat for listeners to get to hear your story. So it really means a lot. Thank you for being here.

Amanda Rausch: 4:08

Yeah, I'm excited. I was thinking back to like, how I look at the playroom and stuff and like we've done it all together. We have done it all together. We have done the decluttering and the parenting and all the things so

Danielle Bettmann: 4:20

yes, like back with when it was like super generic coaching. We talked about like scheduling and organization and then you brought me in for decluttering and treated a whole like before and after for your playroom. And then you did like the family business plan, I think yep. With Eric and then maybe even like one of the probably the webinars or like online workshops in the middle of COVID. But then you joined Wholeheartedly CALM last fall, I think, right.

Amanda Rausch: 4:49

We were the first group. Yeah, so 20 It was 2020 Was it 2020? No 2021 2021

Danielle Bettmann: 4:57

Yes. Yeah, yeah, like We all have it. You've done all of us, all of it, which really just shows how much you care about being a good mom. I think that's all it. That's emblematic about.

Amanda Rausch: 5:10

Thank you. I appreciate that. It's a journey.

Danielle Bettmann: 5:14

Oh, 100%? Yes, very much. So go ahead and just do a quick intro. Who are you and who's in your family?

Amanda Rausch: 5:23

So I'm Amanda. I am married to my husband, Eric. We've been married for 10 years. And then we have our oldest son grant. He's going to be six in May. And so he's five and a half. Can't forget that. And then Garrett, is she just turned two in September. So two and a half about now. And then we have two crazy dogs. So I'm outnumbered. I'm the only female in this household.

Danielle Bettmann: 5:47

Oh, boy

Amanda Rausch: 5:50

I feel it too.

Danielle Bettmann: 5:52

Your boys are boys.

Amanda Rausch: 5:55

They're very Boys, boys. Yes. I think I've seen it all. I can write a book on the things that I'm told on a daily basis. And that's private. That's cool.

Danielle Bettmann: 6:07

No Filter, no filter at all. So have you ever felt like you were failing motherhood?

Amanda Rausch: 6:15

All the time? Yeah. I told you until three weeks ago. I was like, this is a terrible. I don't know. I don't think I'm cut out for this. There's been many seasons with lots of tears and lots of joys along the way, too, but definitely a lot of struggle.

Danielle Bettmann: 6:30

Yeah, for sure. The whole roller coaster highs and lows. Yep. 100%. Okay, so let's get into that. So you have again, a five and a half year old? Yes. Take us back to you know, early motherhood? And what were some of your thoughts? What were some of your experiences that made you start to think I might need a different approach or a new tools with him to talk us through that.

Amanda Rausch: 6:57

So I think a lot of his journey has started since the beginning. Like when I was pregnant with him, I had a very difficult pregnancy, leading up to very scary moments where I was going blind. And like, there was a lot of things happening. And I was constantly being told by my doctor at the time, like you're just a very paranoid first time mom, you're fine. And I was like, I don't think going blind is normal. So went to go get that checked out by another doctor. And long story short, just following my instinct with that it kept us both safe. So at 20 weeks, I was put on bed rest. And he and I had a very long journey together for the next 17 weeks. And so that was kind of my first experience with like, really trusting my gut. And I was like, something is off like, this is not normal. Because that was like a serious condition. Extremely, very, very rare. So a lot of people don't know about it, it was called pseudotumor cerebri. And so it basically made the decision right then and there that we were going to have to have a C section like there was really no other choice. And so following the instincts for that, it turned out that his pregnancy was pushing so much cerebral spinal fluid to make me go blind. I was three days away from permanently going blind. But hairdresser, I kind of knew my vision. So that was definitely the very first I mean, that's my first experience with that. And here I am, like, having a baby. And I'm like what's happening? This is not okay. So he and I had a long journey together have a lot of doctor's appointments. And then when he was born, his delivery went well, I had switched to a new medical team, they were fantastic. And I'm still with them. I love them. But then he was born and he was about 10 days old. And he came down with like 104 Fever, which is not normal, scary for a newborn. And they tell you if they go above 103.7, you're supposed to take them in. So we did in kind of the same runaround, I just kept getting told like, he's fine, there's nothing wrong and blah, blah, blah, like you're just paranoid and that word was really starting to trigger me because I'm like, I'm not paranoid. Something is wrong. Understandably, long story short, what ended up happening is, I had found out from another mom on social media I had posted about like, something is wrong, like I need to know if anybody else has been in the same situation. And this one mom privately messaged me and was like, this is exactly the same situation my daughter was in the you should push for a ultrasound on his kidneys. Like it sounds like he might have a reflex condition. And the doctor was like, basically looked right at me and said, If that's what's gonna get you out of here, then we'll do that. Like she just wanted me to leave. How condescending. So it ended up being that he did have bladder reflux, which is where his kidneys were, you know, refluxing back into the bladder instead of coming out. I think I might have gotten that wrong, but something along those lines, it wasn't normal. So we ended up seeing a specialist for the next year and again, went on a new journey of finding a new pediatrician. So that was kind of The start of it, and then he was a pretty normal kid, normal toddler. I do remember thinking like God, he's just seems really advanced. But first time mom, I don't know, you know, we're all proud of our kids are like, he's so smart. But I had like one of my friends was like, he's like Rain Man, the kid doesn't forget anything. And so, now looking back in the journey that we've had in the last couple of years, it makes more sense. Like, I think he's definitely, I was starting to see those symptoms of the prognosis that we've now just recently received. You know, he walked at nine months old, like walked, walked, like not just titled like, full on walking. He was saying full sentences by 18 months. And it's been a whole nother journey with his brother, which is fine, because they're different kids. But oh, yeah. You know, it's just so funny because Eric's like, I don't remember grant doing that. And like, they're different, like Grant Garrett are very different children. And that's the blessing. So yeah, so that just kind of led us into these last couple of years have, I would say he turned about three. And I was like, wow, everybody jokes. It's terrible. Twos are hard. But dang, these threes are like, they're hard. They're very hard. And that was the year COVID hit. So I went from being a part time stay at home mom to full time stay at home mom. And it just got really hard. And I was starting to see more and more of these behaviors in him that were just different. And I didn't think that this was normal. So I had brought it up to his doctor a couple times, like, are we looking at possibly autism? Are we looking at possibly ADHD? And same thing, just kind of like, oh, you're just being dramatic. He's a normal three year old. This is a normal four year old. And I'm like, I don't think this is normal, though. Like some of the things that he was doing, like the anger issues. And you and I have worked together on this. So you know, this story very well. I had called out I'd reached out to you mainly because I was like, he's so angry. Normal, like, he's so aggressive. And everybody joke. Well, he's a redhead. That's what redheads do. And I'm like, I don't think so. I think this is just this is different. And so we went through a lot I have purchased, every book you can think of I have read it all. I have dove into every podcast, I have worked one on one with you multiple times. I've even gone to counseling myself, because I was like, Maybe I'm the one that's crazy. Maybe there's something wrong with me. So that kind of led into then 2021 When you and I really started to work together.

Danielle Bettmann: 12:30

Mm hmm. You really are the most well researched mom. If there's like a crown or a trophy, your participation award like you get the medal,

Amanda Rausch: 12:40

sometimes too much. So because then it's too much. It's too much information. You know,

Danielle Bettmann: 12:45

right? There is pros and cons to that. Because you when you leave no stone unturned, it can send you into the spiral of overthinking and, you know, questioning, and yeah, especially if you have professionals that aren't taking you seriously, you can really lose your footing as a parent and just like gaslight yourself all the way to you know, questioning everything. So where were you at, when you decided to join Wholeheartedly CALM?

Amanda Rausch: 13:15

So that was the first full year after COVID. Garrett, the baby at the time, he was just turning one. And he was starting to walk around, he's starting to get a little bit more into his brother's things. And so Grant loved being a big brother when Garrett didn't move. And then once Garrett started to get on the move, it was just I felt like I was constantly putting out fires. And I didn't feel like Eric and I were talking about this few weeks ago, like we used to eat out so much, because the thought of me taking time to make dinner so that I could take my eyes off of them for a few minutes didn't feel safe. And so I just felt like I was constantly on high alert with like, what's next? Like, what's he going to do next? And I don't want to make him out to be a bad kid, because we had great times too. But the bad times were starting to outweigh the good times. And that's when I was like, something's gotta get like, this isn't fair to any of us. And I don't want like he was constantly telling his brother how much he didn't like him and how much he wanted him to go away. And I was like, I know from reading everything I've read know that the first five years are the most crucial for brain development. You know, I've read all the things. And I was like, I don't want to hear it growing up thinking that he does not want to be wanted here. Yeah. And so I think that was a big part of it. And on top of all that my husband had recently taken on a job to travel. And so at that time, you and I were working together, he was gone all the time. And so I was working and full time parent only parent for a while. And I just remember, the money didn't even matter. I was like, we're just doing this because we need help. And so he's very strong-willed your workshop for strong-willed Kids has definitely like when you say those things. I'm like yes, yes, yes. Yep. Okay, I got it. Got it. You know So I think working together, it was the perfect time to do that they we made a lot of positive changes into our household. But there was still something there. And it was starting to become affecting him in his schoolwork and in school in the classroom. And so I think that's when I just realized we needed to seek out another professional. And that's when we got on board with another doctor.

Danielle Bettmann: 15:24

So was the things you learned in Wholeheartedly CALM, do they apply to families that have a neurodivergent child in some way? If they already feel like there's something there?

Amanda Rausch: 15:36

Absolutely. Yeah, very much. So because of the things I've learned with neurodiversity along the way, is the structure that's needed, the routines that are needed. And honestly, when we were going through the hardest parts of all of this, I was just trying something every day. And so my consistency wasn't there. It was like, we're gonna try this new cool thing, or we're gonna try this new cool thing, and we're gonna try this. And then tomorrow, we're gonna start all over, and we're gonna create a wheel all over again. Yeah, that was not helping. And so you were able to literally write it out for us and spell it out for us. And being able to work through his emotions. Like, I've got the paper on the fridge behind me of like, okay, well, how are we feeling right now like, and to be able to help me take my anger out of it and my frustration, and be able to get on his level? I think that's where the workshop really came to be. And then being able to work together with all the other moms and being able to hear other stories and like, Okay, I'm not alone in this, like, it feels like I'm alone, but I'm not.

Danielle Bettmann: 16:41

Yeah, that was gonna be my next question was like, what did that community mean to you, because it was a tight knit group, that first round,

Amanda Rausch: 16:47

We're still tight, we still talk. I mean, there's a group chat going on, I'm not great at answering all the time. But for the most part, we've all stayed in contact. Ironically, we all seem to have a child with similar, you know, actions and stuff like that, too. So it's been really neat to be able to just, wow, this is working for me, or this isn't, you know, things like getting them to sit at the table for like, a minute, you know, what did you guys do? What should we try? I'm gonna lose it. I think I need to, you know, I think I need to try something else. So definitely.

Danielle Bettmann: 17:18

Did you feel safe to be vulnerable?

Amanda Rausch: 17:20

100%, Yeah. I think I shared more with you guys than I shared with a lot of my own friends and family. And it just felt safe. And not to say that I don't feel safe with my friends and family. But it just, it was scary, like having a child with these differences. And the more I started to realize this really was what was happening, it almost made me feel a little bit crazy, because I don't know about anybody else. But he's really good at masking it. And so he would mask it so well at playdates and get togethers and things like that, and then we'd come home and just the explosion would happen. And so I think being able to share that in that group, and know that that was not abnormal was really helpful.

Danielle Bettmann: 18:01

And before we keep moving on, any other takeaways that you still remember to this day, from our time together?

Amanda Rausch: 18:09

Yeah, I think it was, there were so many opportunities, where I learned how to also talk with the people that are helping us, you know, it takes a village, it truly does. You know, my mom and my stepdad, my parents, my in laws, were all very involved in this journey. And so it was so helpful to be able to take the verbiage and say like, "Hey, this is what we're trying at home, I would really appreciate if we can all do the same thing. Not like you're doing it wrong, or they're doing it wrong. It's just this is what we're going to dive into right now. And can we do this as a team." And so that has been a game changer. Because when we've got, you know, my in-laws don't live here. So when they come to visit, they now know like, Hey, this is what's working. And my mother in law will even call and be like, hey, what's the scoop right now? Like, what are we doing before I get there? So I'm kind of on the same page with you. And then my mom, you know, says this kind of the same thing. And even just in the last couple of weeks, we've had to have some conversations about this needs to be taken away right now. Like in regards to certain video games and stuff like that, and everybody's on the same team. And so in that way...

Danielle Bettmann: 19:11

oh, that is amazing.

Amanda Rausch: 19:13

It is. and that consistency helps so much for him.

Danielle Bettmann: 19:18

And what made that possible? because I mean, that's that's one of those goals that like most parents ascribed like, would love to have, but like don't either have the language or they don't have those relationships, like what got you to that point of really being able to say, get on board,

Amanda Rausch: 19:34

you know, Grant luckily let his guard down around that group specifically. So it wasn't just us to seen the crazy moments. That helps. It was everybody and so we were all getting frustrated together. So I think it really helped to just open that door. I had to let my guard down and be very vulnerable and just say, Hey, this is taking a lot for me to come to you and say, you know, I know you each raised your own set of kids, but This is what we feel is gonna be right for him. And can we do that together. And it wasn't easy. I mean, I was nervous to have those conversations, but the way they played out was such a breath of fresh air. And I think you've got to give the people closest to you, the grace that they're going to be able to hear you on those moments, because they love your kids just as much. They're, they're on the same team, you know. And so, I think that had a lot to do with it. As far as, like my mother in law. She had a lot of experience in this too, because my husband is ADHD, he was diagnosed in second grade. And so she and I have had a lot of conversations about like, what worked, what didn't work, you know, she, she told me the other day, like, I've always loved my son, but I didn't always like him. And it was the most true thing that I had heard that I was like, Oh, my God, I've been trying to put that into words. So I think being able to connect on those levels, and everybody has just been like, what can I do? Even my dad text me? Like, what can I do to make this easier? What do I need to change? What do I need to do? So I feel like when the kid starts to win, everybody starts to win together.

Danielle Bettmann: 21:09

Yeah, yes. There we go. There's the quote. But it's so true, like it makes or breaks.

Amanda Rausch: 21:18

It truly does. Yeah. And you know, even getting teachers on board, I think there's so much to be said about that. We're very blessed that his first year in school, we have a teacher that is just constantly, like, what can I do to help him in this area, she's reaching out to us, we're reaching out to her like, there's very much I used to be so nervous about, like, I don't want to message the teacher and take their time away. They're so busy. And now I've just realized, that's their job, like their job truly is to help our kids. And so if they don't know what's working for him or what's not, then we're not gonna get anywhere.

Danielle Bettmann: 21:52

So, after you went through, Wholeheartedly CALM, were you able to see more clearly what was unique to him or what was like left unaddressed, or be able to kind of like have fresh eyes on the situation that you are still dealing with?

Amanda Rausch: 22:09

Yes. So I would say we definitely went on a roller coaster after the class finished up. So at the time, the class literally started, we had a very dramatic life thing happened with a really bad accident with my father in law. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, stressful. Yeah, it was super stressful. My husband was already traveling for work. And then he was gone helping with that as he should have been. And so now I'm back in this position of trying to manage my emotions on that spectrum of like, what's happening? I don't know what to expect, this isn't looking good. And also, kids pick up on that. So Oh, 100%. You know, Garrett was pretty little at that time. But Grant definitely was like stressing about like, what's wrong with G-pa? What's wrong? Why is Daddy not home, like what's going on? And so I think, I started to step back into my old habits, with a lot of threatening and bribing. And I mean, the amount of toys we bought in the year 2022 was insane. Because it was like, if you do this, I will buy you this. The things we learned not to do. So then every once in a while, I would message the group, you know, the ladies and be like, guys, redirect to me, which episode do I need to listen to? Like, which page do I need to get back on. And so that was really neat to be able to utilize that. And then you know, I'm feeling that too, like, let's hold each other accountable. And let's get back on track. And so I definitely think there was a roller coaster. As that also progressed, I would say, his neurodivergence also got worse. And I don't know if it got worse as much as just he's getting older. And he's starting to find out that he has his own voice to say things. And so we kind of got more into that, utilizing going back to the routines and trying to work through the strong-willed-ness and everything. That's when we finally hit a point. I'm trying to think when I reached out to you again, was that just this past December? I feel like when I ever had the one on one with Eric, yeah, we had a one on one. And that was just, I mean, we're pretty much just at our breaking point was like, Okay, I don't know what to do anymore. This isn't working. The outbursts were getting bad, the fighting all the time, was getting more serious. He was saying things like, we would say we're not having goldfish before dinner, and I would put them up on top of the fridge and he said, I don't care. I can reach those. I'm gonna get a stepstool and it was just so much. I hate to say disrespect, because I don't think he meant it as a disrespect. It was just pushed back. He Yeah, he was trying to find control where he could. And so that is when we started to reach out to different areas around here. Like it's time to really finally acknowledge that he more than likely has ADHD. But I don't think that's all we're looking at. So my best friend is a school psychologist. I'm lucky to have her in our corner because she's been able to just give us some really great resources. As, and she told me about this place it locally, I don't know if they have them anywhere else, but it's called Kid Ability. It's OT. occupational therapy. And so we finally reached out to them. And in the meantime, we were still really honing in on all the things that we had just had on that one on one call with you is like, doing a lot of special time, a lot of one on one time has been a huge, huge change for Grant.

Danielle Bettmann: 25:22

Well, and how was his relationship with dad for a while?

Amanda Rausch: 25:26

it was pretty rocky. He wanted that time. But I think we had just gotten to a point where we were so stressed with the constant fighting and the constant battles that I now see it, I think we both just kind of shut off to it. Like any chance I could get to get out of the house, I was taking it to just get away. And Eric was kind of in that same position. And so when you and I and him had had that call, and I was like, Great just needs more time with you. And he kind of looked at me like, I don't know if I can do that right now. He's like, not what I want to hear. He's like, I'm stressed, I don't know what else I can do to help him like, I don't know, I don't think that's gonna be the answer. And so we just made it a really strong point, like, Okay, this is our game plan going forward, we're gonna look into OT, we're going to look into possibly starting some medication, we're going to look into some other options, but what are we doing on the home front? And so we started about that time, we ended that phone call, we made a very prominent point to turn the TV off, like we hardly have any TV time in our house. And instead, in the morning, we're going back to having that special time in the morning. And so Eric's been really good about coming down and having that we play Legos together for like, 20 minutes, or whatever. And I know that's not doable for everybody's family. And it doesn't happen every single day of the week. If anything, we kind of take turns if we have to. But I'm definitely starting to see their bond happening again. And just learning to almost like be a kid again. Like, I feel like for so long, we were just fighting against him that now we're trying to work with him. And so, you know, just being silly and goofy, and all those things have really helped helped our household just feel a little bit more calm.

Danielle Bettmann: 27:14

Yeah, for your sanity, as well as just his you know, life experience day to day. Yes. 100%. Yeah. So, big emotions from Little People are running the show at your house. Is that right? Do they fall apart when something doesn't go their way? Just once, why can't they accept the fact that the answer is no. Am I right? The struggle is real. You're not alone, and you're in the right place. When your days are filled with relentless push back, it is so hard to feel like a good parent, especially when you're in laws aren't shy and sharing how they think your kids just need a good spanking. Every time you lose it, when they lose it, you feel like a failure. The worst part is, without addressing the root of your child's behavior, you're doomed to play a fruitless game of Whack a Mole reacting rather than preventing the next conflict. And next time, nothing's gonna go differently. The good news is, when you have a handful of effective discipline tools in your pocket, you're able to step into full confidence as their parent, parenting actually becomes a whole lot easier. I promise. You're not failing them. You just need more tools. So if you have a tiny human who's full of love, and yet so so difficult, if you can only be so nice for so long. If you've tried everything and still feel defeated on the daily, I free class, authentic and unapologetic is for you. In this free training, I share five huge misconceptions in parenting strong-willed kids that inadvertently invite defiance for mistaken goals. They're using their behavior to meet and what to do about it. How to let judgment roll off your back and truly feel like the parent your kids need, and why what you're currently doing just isn't working and isn't going to anytime soon. So go to parenting wholeheartedly.com/unapologetic To access this exclusive free training immediately. That's parenting wholeheartedly.com/unapologetic The link will be in the show notes But before Kid Ability had you look into anything else?

Amanda Rausch: 30:11

Yeah, we had always gone back and forth on like, do we do the medication? Do we not? Do we look into some counseling? Do we not like, there was always those things. And so we finally got an appointment with his pediatrician. And she was a godsend. So this is a new pediatrician. Now, mind you, after all this journey, we met her in 2020. And she's just been, I love her. She's awesome. And so we had that appointment with her. And I told her before we got there, I said, I'm going to let Grant be Grant, I am not going to redirect or do anything, I just want you to see what we're dealing with. And by the grace of God, Grant was himself through and through, he just let his true colors show for that appointment. But she looked right at me, and she's like, wow, and you've been dealing with this for how long? and it was like, too long. And so she shared her personal testimony with us. So at this point, I was so against medication. So against it. And I know so many people are, we're all in that same boat, a lot of us are. And a lot of people have found that it was just that saving grace. And so she was able to share with us her personal testimony of her own daughter struggling with the same neurodiversity. And she waited three years to put her on medication. And she said, If I could redo anything, she's like, I'm a doctor. And I didn't even put my own child on it. She said, If I could redo anything, I would have put her on it so much earlier, because I've seen the giant difference in her and her brain isn't constantly in fight or flight, now that she's on it. And so with that being said, you know, we did go that route, we did decide to start a very low dose of something that I mean, it's been a game changer for him. He is asking for and every morning, he's coming upstairs. And you know, don't forget, I have to take my medicine. And he notices the difference. But I will say it's not a one size fits all like it's not, it doesn't make perfect. It's still definitely have our ups and downs. But it definitely has taken the edge off. And we've been able to just see the happier side of him again, the amount of people that have said to me like "oh my gosh, look at his smile. It's so genuine now" like, That breaks my heart because it also makes me so happy for him. But like the fact that other people were seeing that in him that he was losing his spark, like, I was so busy battling it that I didn't even realize that. So we had that going on. And then on top of that, we did start diving into occupational therapy, which then led on to more of it's not just ADHD, we are looking at some sensory processing disorders, and primitive reflex disorders, which is a topic for another day. But those things as one huge. I always called like a tumbleweed. She's like a giant ball of stuff.

Danielle Bettmann: 32:54

That yeah, a tumbleweed is an excellent analogy. Yeah.

Amanda Rausch: 32:57

Like there's just so many pieces to it that, you know, he struggled with zipping up his coat, and I would just get so frustrated because it's like, You're five, you should know how to do this. It turns out his brain literally can't like he just can't figure that out yet. And I was getting so mad in the morning. So I'm like you're making a slight like, Let's go Come on. And it's just truly wasn't something he could do. So that's something that we're working on is almost like relearning him as who he really is. And not pushing back on all the things we didn't like, or disagree with. Does that make sense?

Danielle Bettmann: 33:33

Oh, yeah. That's like a revelation. And also like, just the beginning of a whole new journey. Right?

Amanda Rausch: 33:40

Yeah, we're having to learn. He and his dad are so much alike, which just cracks me up. Because I think that's why they butt heads so often. But man, both of them can just talk all day long about things that you're just like, that's really cool. Like, are we gonna talk about anything else? So trying to give it a time and place for like, okay, like, Grant, I'm gonna dive into this with you for five minutes. And then I'm going to XYZ, you know, yeah. So I will say with all that being said, I definitely had to also grieve a little bit about what I expected motherhood to be like, because this is not at all what I was picturing. I always wanted to be the mom, that's like, surprise, we're going to Disney World today like relieving and that would send him into a spiral. Like, as much as that's so fun. Like, he would absolutely hate that. But if I tell him like in four sleeps, you know, or whatever, like as long as we have some countdowns. So it's really just all these expectations I had for myself of what I was going to be as a mom and who I was going to be, I've had to just give myself a lot of grace and just be like, it's okay, like, I can do some of those things, but I'm also able to kind of transition into what he needs a little bit more.

Danielle Bettmann: 34:55

And now you're just learning more and more of what that actually is. What do you think is everything because before, it's just a guessing game

Amanda Rausch: 35:03

100% Yeah. And every day is a new day, like, some days, we're like, okay, yesterday that was working really well. And today it's not. So, you know, you're in out what that still looks like, we definitely don't have it all figured out. But I feel like we have a lot more clarity on what we're looking at with this prognosis, you know, and it is hard because growing up, I always thought that ADHD was just kind of this label people threw on their kids when they weren't behaving. And I've had doesn't have a lot of humbleness and understanding like that is not at all what it is. And now it's been a big wake up call to me to realize there truly is something in the brain that is different with children with these conditions, and it doesn't make them wrong or anything like that. It's just it is what it is.

Danielle Bettmann: 35:52

And can you imagine what things would be like if either A, you wouldn't have kept advocating, and asking questions and researching, and B, never really learned any more parenting tools, like kind of just like went with your instincts, or what you were given by how you were parented?

Amanda Rausch: 36:11

Yeah, it's been something that we've talked a lot about, because about a year and a half ago, he was actually given the diagnosis of oppositional defiance disorder, which is a pretty strong thing to throw on kids. When there was no testing done. There was just, I will never forget, this doctor just was like, oh, yeah, that's what he's got. I'm pretty sure we're looking at O.D.D. And I was like, What is that? I don't even know what that is, like, I've never heard of it. And I started researching it. I'm like, No, that is not him at all. And it's not because I didn't want him to have that label. It just truly didn't sit right. I was like, That is not what we're looking at. Like, he's too kind. Like when he does have his blow ups, he recovers so differently that like, from what I had understood about that diagnosis, that would not have made sense. So that was that. And then

Danielle Bettmann: 37:00

cuz he could be really loving and sweet.

Amanda Rausch: 37:02

Oh, 100%. It he is a lot of the time, it just felt like the negative spot parts were just always sticking out the most. You know, it was hard seeing him and I don't want to breach too much of his privacy. But just, you know, to give an example, because a lot of people are probably wondering, like, what does this even mean? Like, what did these bad moments look like? An example would be, you know, he would come home from school, and he would hand his brother a Lego that he had built. He'd be like, Garrett, look at this. And he'd be all sweet about it. I'm like, Oh, it's so cute. They're being so nice. And then Garrett would touch it, and grant would smack it out of his hand and it would break and he'd be like, not like that, like, You're so dumb. And he would get so angry at him. And you're just kind of like what just happened? Like, that was such a sweet moment that just turned crazy. And so now, and those were the things I would come to his doctor about. And she's like, Yeah, that's just what we're dealing with. And I'm like, no, like, he needs help. And I don't know what else to do. And so that is when we finally were able to switch to this new doctor, and she, from the get go was very open to let's look at this, we're going to try this approach first. If this doesn't have what we're looking for, then we're gonna go to see if autism is a part of this. So we have a game plan now. And so I think, knowing that that's in our back pocket of, she's following up when she says she's going to follow up, you know, those kinds of things have been huge, where it just like, I feel like there's a light at the end of this tunnel, like, okay, like, we're, we're gonna get there, we're gonna get this figured out. So one of these things that with all the therapy that he's been doing, and the things we've been doing at home, the changes we've been making, and with the help of the medication, he and his brother have had the best relationship they've had, since he's been born, like since the brothers been born. And it is just truly a blessing to see. Like, I've made dinner the last almost two weeks now because I will hear Grant be like Garrett, you want to go build a house together and they will literally go play, or they it's not perfect. It's not rainbows and butterflies. Of course, there's my cran or I'm building that Lego blah, blah. You know, that's just typical normal. That's the part I was Yeah. Acting to see. Yeah, no, I can handle. It was just the other stuff where it just I felt like all we were doing was constantly telling Grant what not to do. And we never got to just praise him for like, wow, that was so sweet. Like, I came downstairs the other day and Garrett's eating a bowl of goldfish at the table. And I was like, Where'd you get that? And he's like, Oh, brother, brother gave it to me. And I looked at Grant and Grant just got the biggest smile on his face. Like, yeah, I did that. I got that for him. And before Grant would have taken the whole back goldfish were like, nope, these are mine! sucks that you want some, like know what I really want. So, yes, our home life has been so different. And that's been a really cool thing to see.

Danielle Bettmann: 39:57

Yeah, imagine what that means for Garrett. And for like the mama bear in you that was seeing a sibling. Be like a casualty of this like that. It's very like, pulls you inside when you want to like have your heart out for both of your kids.

Amanda Rausch: 40:14

Yeah. But it felt like I had to constantly almost like keep Garrett safe, because I just didn't know what to expect. And then I always had to be on high alert for Grant and looking back now I kind of think like, he probably sensed that in me, which almost probably made it worse. Because I was just always nervous. I always felt like I was on this, like, watch like this animalistic watch of like, what's gonna happen next? Who's gonna get hurt? Who's gonna cry next? Like,

Danielle Bettmann: 40:39

yeah, yeah, understandably. But of course, if he's very perceptive and sensitive and observant, he's going to notice a difference in how you treat you know, each sibling and make meaning from that. And it's probably Yeah, not gonna be a helpful assumption.

Amanda Rausch: 40:56

Yeah. 100%. That's hard. So it is, it is hard. But

Danielle Bettmann: 41:03

so for a listener who feels like they are talking to a professional, that is not listening to them. And they feel like, you know, it's just, that doesn't sit well with me that doesn't, I don't want to act on that advice. What advice would you give to them? Through, you know, being kind of when they feel stuck?

Amanda Rausch: 41:22

Yeah, I would say you have to stick with trusting your instincts on this. Because I think had I just listened to that first doctor and been like, okay, fine, this is normal, we would not have made any of this progress. I was very nervous at that time, too, because the doctor that I wanted to switch to was also within that same building. Like literally worked. Oh, awkward. Uh huh. So that was something I had to just be okay with and say, my kids well being is worth the awkwardness. People do this all the time. I also went through a lot of counseling during this to have a lot of appointments based on like, this is okay to change, you know, yeah, I think just trusting your gut, and also just knowing like, you have to be the advocate for your kids. And so it's okay to reach out and say, you know, I'm not this isn't sitting right with me, can we get a second opinion on this? Or is there a specialist that we can be, you know, sent to so that we can have an evaluation, and then we can reevaluate where we are, you know, in that situation,

Danielle Bettmann: 42:25

that's really helpful. Even just that language? Yeah

Amanda Rausch: 42:28

You have to just be okay with the awkwardness that it might come with. I also, I think it helped having other people kind of starting to point out like, this isn't normal and validating that this isn't normal. And so I think I've had a lot of people reach out, I've said, like, reach out to a friend who's in a similar situation, because I think sometimes having like that, knowing you have that, like that extra push to be like, okay, my kid is a lot like this child. And they have this. So like, Who do you see, can I get in with, you know, your doctor or something like that. So you just have to push for it.

Danielle Bettmann: 43:04

And it's hard, but nothing is harder than watching your kids struggle and feel helpless or hopeless.

Amanda Rausch: 43:11

100%. Yeah. And one doctor said to me, that I will never forget is, and this has helped me so much when it comes down to this, like maybe just having this mentality of it all is, is this doctor said to me, it's called a practice for a reason we're practicing our practice every day, we don't know it all. And so hearing that, and then being able to put that into perspective of like, the doctor that we originally were seeing was very old school. And she did things in a very old school way. And that's okay, some people like that. But I also knew that there was so much more science backed behind the neurodiversity world now that I just knew there had to be somebody else out there that had more of that in their expertise. And that same thing happened back with the pregnancy was like, the doctor I was seeing was so old school, that the doctor I ended up seeing happen to be fresh out of medical school, and literally had just studied pseudotumor cerebri, which is why she knew 100% That day, when I walked in, that's what I had with confidence. And so having that experience with her has really helped guide me to know like, it's okay to seek out a second opinion. It's possible. Yeah, you just may need to find the person that has the knowledge. Oh, that's huge.

Danielle Bettmann: 44:26

And I know just hearing that alone will change the trajectory, have a family listening, because they'll just, you know, begin to ask more questions and find more resources and get more answers. And that is powerful. So thank you for sharing that side of that vulnerability. And you haven't been shy about it like you, you know, we'll share some things updates about Grant on social media and you'll get lots of positive feedback, you know, from people telling you you're the best mom in the world. And to a you know, to another sigh, you might look like you have it all together and you know have the world's biggest amount of confidence and, you know, have this facade of like, there's nothing that a man does not afraid to do. And so could you like speak to that of like, Have you always been that way, or what is enabled some of like your biggest moves in either like the thought behind it, or the work that you've done on yourself, or even just the Insight you've gained,

Amanda Rausch: 45:24

meaning as far as just the confidence to like, share that kind of stuff more often,

Danielle Bettmann: 45:27

not even just the sharing, but just like the confidence in advocating and not fearing criticism and judgment.

Amanda Rausch: 45:35

I think a lot of it, you know, growing up, I was very shy. And so I just always, I wouldn't say got picked on for that. But it just felt like it was constantly a thing of like, You're too nice, you're too like, you kind of go under the radar a little bit. And so I think, when we started to have when there is like that nagging fear of like, well, maybe we do these struggles, I just, I gained that confidence a lot, also from working together with you, because it was really beneficial for me to see like, there is something else here. And so I think a lot of the verbiage that you helped me with gained a little bit more pep in my step to be able to say like, this needs to change, we need to do something else here. But I'm not always that confident. Don't let my Facebook posts for you, you know, even a couple of weeks, even after we felt like we had started to get this figured out like I like to be right a lot of the time. And I don't know what it was Grant and I just went head to head on a random Friday afternoon. And it was not pretty. And I had my mom yell in the world because of it. And I just remember, I would just beat myself up that all day and Eric was like, We all mess up, we all make mistakes. And tomorrow, you can start over. And it was one of my least. I mean, I remember thinking like he's gonna remember this when he's 30 years old about this very Friday. This was terrible. And so honestly, though, I think those moments helped me to build the confidence to be able to apologize. And a couple of years ago, I would have never had the willpower to be like, Whoa, buddy, like, I really messed up there. That was not cool. And I'm really sorry. And to be able to acknowledge where it was wrong to be able to then heal that relationship and move forward. I think that also is where some of that confidence comes into play. Like that didn't work for him and even screaming that loud and yelling that much didn't he didn't even care. That's, that's her that strong-willed-ness comes in. And so then it's just even more frustrating, because I'm like, that was a huge blow up that didn't even get us anywhere. Yeah. So just need to be harder on him. Maybe we do. Like maybe he does just need to like have more discipline and then you know, it all fall into place. And so then you do need to almost have inevitably try that out intentionally or unintentionally, and see that it is just as ineffective. Yeah, we have tried all the parenting styles out there. Like I love listening to these parenting styles. There's the show on Netflix called the Parent Test. Oh, yes. Oh, it's so funny watching because I was like, Oh, we've been there. Done that. Oh, you know, the one I'm probably not is the helicopter mom. Like I've never really been a helicopter probably to a fault. Like, I probably should be a little bit more aware. Same. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, that's probably my ADHD poke it in there. I'm like, squirrel. So yeah, I think that and then also, you know, hearing that nice compliments from people it is it's nice, it's sweet. But it's the conversations that I have behind the scenes that have come out of this with other moms, that that's really what's honed me in on not being afraid to just share more about this journey. I noticed some that kind of seemed to come out of nowhere, because people like, I didn't even know you were having these problems. And it's like, that's not something I just go around talking about. Like, today was a hell of a morning, how was your day like, you know, great. But now that I feel like we have a little bit more knowledge and a little bit more understanding, I feel like it's for those that can speak on it, like there's something positive to be had there to even if it helps one other family,

Danielle Bettmann: 49:08

right, because you do struggle in silence, or in shame or in fear or in isolation for a long time before you can get to that point, usually.

Amanda Rausch: 49:19

Yes. And, you know, having conversations, like I said, with one of my best friends being in the school psych field, like she's been in my corner since the beginning. And there's even been times where I've asked her like, do you see it? She's like, No, like, not really. And like I had said he was so good at masking it. That it wasn't until this past December, she had come over for a playdate and she looked at me and she's like, What time was that appointment today? I was like, Yeah, I know. Right? Like now you see what I'm talking about? And he just he's gotten more comfortable and he really just let that show. And it was a hard playdate. I just remember thinking Why do I keep doing this to us like playdates are not fun. On, this isn't fun for anybody, because these are just hard. And he was able to have a playdate this past week. And it was he had the best time. And it was so sweet to be able to see that. See those positive things coming out of it, and being able to use what we've learned. And I feel like now he's way more open to being able to learn what the tools that we've used and learn from you. He's way more open to working with them. Because his brain is able to be calmed down a little bit more.

Danielle Bettmann: 50:30

Well, yeah, if he can regulate, then, you know, he's so much easier to get through to Yeah,

Amanda Rausch: 50:36

yeah, he's able to express like, he used to get so frustrated when we would talk. And now he's like, Oh, you're interrupting me. Instead of like, screaming and freaking out, he's able to put into words like this bothers me. I'm trying to talk to you, you know, or something like that.

Danielle Bettmann: 50:52

Mm hmm. So good. So to put a bow on our conversation, what did it mean to you to finally get a prognosis that felt right?

Amanda Rausch: 51:05

It was honestly a huge relief. I think I had already done my grieving the last couple of years of like, just, this is hard. This is not what I pictured. So I think to be able to finally have a doctor straight up, say, based on the test results, based on the opportunity I've had with him this afternoon. And the experience I've had with him in the past, I am confident to say this is what we were looking at. Honestly, I just remember leaving and I cried happy tears, because I was like, we finally are getting somewhere somebody is actually listening to us. And I don't feel as crazy. I still feel crazy sometimes. But I at least I at least feel like the we're not being irrational. We're not the ones that are just thinking that this is happening. Like there's actually some truth behind this. Yeah. And so being able to come home, you know, we've purchased a couple books on it that are on a kid level, there's one called Diggory Do is a really great series. And they have a lot of different ones. But one specifically is about My Dragon Has ADHD. And it talks about all these famous people who have ADHD like Michael Phelps, and Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison. And it's really cool, because now he'll say things like, he'll swim in the pool. It's like, I'm like, You're Michael Phelps, you know, and it's given him, because I think for so long, he was starting to feel out of, like, out of touch with who he really was to. And so to be able to give him that confidence back. And we've been very open with him about it, we didn't just put them on the medication without talking to him about it. Granted, he's five and a half. But we still felt like that was something that he deserved to be a part of. And so between his doctor and Eric and I, we all sat down with him. And we're like, this is what this can help you with. It's kind of like you have the superhero ability, but we need to help your brain be able to use it the best way it can. And so I think it's really helped him to be able to be a part of that decision.

Danielle Bettmann: 53:00

Oh, huge. Because yeah, that forms so much of his self-concept and just understanding of what's going on day to day and how people treat him and how he's perceived and what he can do. Yeah, that's everything. Yeah. So important.

Amanda Rausch: 53:11

Yeah. And his doctor was so great about, you know, some of the key things you should not say to a child who's on ADHD medication is like, oh, man, that was a really bad, like, act out. You just had there? Did you take your meds today, you know, because, you know, just those kinds of things are just not necessary to say. And so I think just having her to be able to say like, Yep, this is what we're dealing with. And I'm confident in that. So as far as the autism spectrum goes, I don't think we're looking at that right now. It could come down the road. Like, he's just be extremely high functioning at this point. But I think we're definitely at a good starting point.

Danielle Bettmann: 53:46

Yeah, I mean, you're getting him to a place of being able to function in his current life and current school and current circumstances, and you know, with a sibling, and like, that's all you need today. Yeah, you might have more information, come your way tomorrow, and then you'll make new decisions with that new information. When that time comes. Yeah.

Amanda Rausch: 54:06

100%. Yeah. So all in all, I mean, his teachers couldn't wait to talk to us at conferences, because his handwriting has changed drastically in the last couple of weeks, which is so crazy. It's I honestly, I would have thought she gave us another kid's paper, because I'm like, he wrote both of these lately.

Danielle Bettmann: 54:23

So is that like, from the OT or in the medicine or both? Yeah, so

Amanda Rausch: 54:27

OT has been helping him a lot with how to hold the pencil correctly. That also has a lot to do with the primitive reflex disorder. So he has an auditory processing. So when he looks up at the dry erase board, and then has to look down at his paper to write something like there's a disconnect that's happening. So the OT has been helping a lot with figuring out like, okay, look up here and now write this from memory, like, not constantly up and down. So between that and also I think the medication does help a little bit especially at school. She said she's noticed a big difference. And just like he's not so antsy, he's not chewing on his fingernails, all that Jaime's not staring at the ceiling, like, he's definitely more present. So I will say one tidbit on the medicine, we did decide to go the route where it winds off after like 12 or 13 hours. So it's really nice, because it's not something that he has to have every single day, if we chose to take a weekend off, we could. So there's just, there's a lot of discussion to be had with your doctor to kind of feel like what would be the right route for you to go. But that's just something that was a big selling point for us was like, We honestly see a lot of the sight of grant where he's not on it at night and in the morning. And we've seen such huge changes from him just from the little bits we've been working on.

Danielle Bettmann: 55:36

That's amazing. Yeah, that's very cool. So reassuring.

Amanda Rausch: 55:39

It is it is very much so. It's funny, we go on dates. Now we're like, we don't even know what to talk about. Because our dates used to be like, okay, like, what are you doing? Like, what strategy? Are we trying now? Like, what you want to re implementing this week? And now we got dates for likes, oh, what do you think of this week? That was pretty cool. Yeah. So it's been very positive, very positive for all of us.

Danielle Bettmann: 56:03

It's a nice change of pace. Yeah. So good. I'm so so so proud of you, and celebrating with you. And I think it's just being able to hear the full spectrum of the highs and lows of that journey is so valuable to be able to hear at like this transparent level. And I do think a lot of moms look up to you, because of just your advocacy and your ability to not let your awkwardness get in the way of finding answers. And I think that's really inspiring. So with this, you know, opportunity to have this platform, what last two cents would you like to throw in as like advice for other moms in a similar journey as yours.

Amanda Rausch: 56:45

I think just really honing in to seeing the positives of your children, even when the days are really hard. A year ago, I started a Joy Journal. And so at the end of every day, when the days were really, really hard, I had to make myself think back to one positive thing that happened during that day. So that I didn't always feel like every day was a tornado. So I think, you know, starting something like that, whether you write it on a sticky note, or put it in the notes in your phone, or have a journal designated to that, that was something that really helped me to get through this. And I think also just finding your people and knowing, you know, who is really there to listen to and not just listening, because they want to hear the details, but they actually want to help. I think that has been, you've been a huge part of that. There's been a million times I've texted you like help, what to do. And so I think, you know, finding your people and just know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. It just, it's a journey. It's a journey.

Danielle Bettmann: 57:47

Yeah. And I think it's fair to say we've had on the book conversations, and you've had off the book conversations, because you're also my hairstylist. Yeah.

Amanda Rausch: 57:55

That's a bonus to the job. I try not to overthink your appointments, though.

Danielle Bettmann: 58:00

No, no, no. But it's like I've gotten to see, like the professional relationship and also like the friend side of that relationship, in a way of like some of our touch points back and forth over the last few years. And that's where I feel like I get a really good picture of kind of the parent that you are and the things that you've gone through, to be able to just understand that it's really like your heart has driven everything that you're why of what you've done is to like, I want to give my kid the best version of myself that I can. And I want to pursue an answer until I really feel like in my gut, this is right, this is who he is. And, you know, have the least amount of regrets in the process if I possibly can, you know, knowing that like if there really is something with his brain where he can't zip up his coat. I don't want to have years and years spent yelling at him about his coat when it was completely out of his control. There's nothing feels worse than realizing that

Amanda Rausch: 58:57

100% And I think there's nothing that's going to be able to make him a stronger person, like we're raising adults. And I always have to remind myself when these little tiny tidbits come up and you're like, Okay, does this actually matter right now? Like, is this gonna matter when he's 30 years old and married with kids? Like, probably not? Probably not? Yeah, so just giving him a chance to be the best version of him?

Danielle Bettmann: 59:18

Yes,

Amanda Rausch: 59:20

but also having Saturday at home.

Danielle Bettmann: 59:22

It's all worth it for that smile. The smile that's back. Right

Amanda Rausch: 59:26

100%. And it's back. It's back in ways that I just didn't even realize it was missing, which is just such a cool thing to see. Yeah, so.

Danielle Bettmann: 59:34

Oh, so good. So to some of our conversation, the question I ask every guest that comes on and I have to ask you, is I feel like it's abundantly clear over the last hour but how are you, the mom that your kids need?

Amanda Rausch: 59:47

I think I am the mom they need just because I just go with that true instinct of this is what we need to do. And I know when they need to be funny and I know when it's time to be serious and Yeah, just having fun with them. Being crazy letting my guard down and dancing in the kitchen in the morning makes their day and it's totally embarrassing for me, but they love it. Nobody's watching those dancers. No. And now grants at the point I was like, Oh my gosh, Mom Stop. And he's sitting there, like totally embarrassed hands over his face, but yet peeking through his eyes like this is the best thing I've ever seen. But I also can't let her know that she's cool. So

Danielle Bettmann: 1:00:29

yeah, I get a lot of that for my girls now, you know?

Amanda Rausch: 1:00:33

And now the two year olds like, stop, I'm like, Okay, you're only saying that? Because your brother said that. So I'll take it.

Danielle Bettmann: 1:00:39

And you're both jealous. Yeah, we know. That's so good, but nothing else. So it makes you feel like a badass parent and being playful when you can be

Amanda Rausch: 1:00:50

100%. Yep. And making up songs, all the things that just let loose. let your guard down.

Danielle Bettmann: 1:00:57

Yes. And that's so much more possible for you now. And I'm so grateful.

Amanda Rausch: 1:01:01

Yeah. 100%. So Well, thank you so much. This was fun.

Danielle Bettmann: 1:01:05

This is so fun. Now, thank you so much, again, for just your honesty, and your willingness to join me and for all of the things that you've done. last few years. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Amanda Rausch: 1:01:17

I appreciate that. And thank you for all your help. I don't we wouldn't be here without you. So I appreciate that. Well,

Danielle Bettmann: 1:01:23

that's why I'm here.

Amanda Rausch: 1:01:24

Yes. All right.

Danielle Bettmann: 1:01:26

I will sign off for today. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Failing Motherhood. Your kids are so lucky to have you. If you loved this episode, take a screenshot right now and share it in your Instagram stories and tag me. If you're loving the podcast, be sure that you've subscribed and leave a review so we can help more moms know they are not alone if they feel like they're failing motherhood on a daily basis. And if you're ready to transform your relationship with your strong willed child, and invest in the support you need to make it happen. Schedule your free consultation using the link in the show notes. I can't wait to meet you. Thanks for coming on this journey with me. I believe in you, and I'm cheering you on.