VOTE

Election day in the US is in 21 days (Tuesday, November 5th).  Early voting has already began!

As parents, our kids are counting on us. Every vote counts, especially in the smallest races and ballot initiatives, shaping the world our kids grow up in.

I do not expect you to agree with everything (or anything) I share here today and that's okay.  I just want you to vote!

IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED:

• Things you can't know about your family's future
• A memory I'm afraid to admit
• Concepts that are allowed to co-exist

DON'T MISS:

• Final reminders before you go do your part

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE //
Vote.org  to find registration, early voting and day of info for your state

2024 Nebraska Voter Guide

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Transcript

Danielle Bettmann  0:04  
Ever feel like you suck at this job? Motherhood I mean. Have too much anxiety and not enough patience? Too much yelling, not enough play? There's no manual, no village, no guarantees. The stakes are high. We want so badly to get it right, but this is survival mode. We're just trying to make it to bedtime. So if you're full of mom guilt, your temper scares you, you feel like you're screwing everything up, and you're afraid to admit any of those things out loud - this podcast is for you. This is Failing Motherhood. I'm Danielle Bettmann, and each week we'll chat with a mom ready to be real, showing her insecurities, her fears, her failures and her wins. We do not have it all figured out. That's not the goal. The goal is to remind you, you are the mom your kids need. They need what you have. You are good enough, and you're not alone. I hope you pop in earbuds, somehow sneak away and get ready to hear some hope from the trenches. You belong here, friend, we're so glad you're here. 

Danielle Bettmann  1:14  
Hey, it's Danielle. Your Positive Discipline Certified Parenting Coach for strong-willed kids ages two to 10, I help defeated parents find validation, support and proven techniques to parent their strong-willed kids with composure, connection, confidence, and cooperation through a four-month group coaching program based on the Wholehearted Framework I've developed over years of working with families one on one. If you've just found the podcast, go to failingmotherhood.com to view a playlist of our most listened-to episodes, as well as where to start if you have a strong-willed child. If you are looking for parenting advice and you haven't checked it out yet, you have to go and find my free master class and watch it with your partner called Calm and Confident - Master the Kind and Firm approach your strong willed child needs without crushing their spirit or walking on eggshells. You can find that at parentingwholeheartedly.com. 

Danielle Bettmann  2:09  
Today, we are talking about something else, but it is very parenting-related.  I might be preaching to the choir on this episode, but I have to mention the thing that's on everyone's minds in the US all day, every day, right now, or maybe that's just me, the upcoming election - 21 days from today. Frankly, it's not going to be that eloquent, but I just can't not say something. I know if you have already made up your mind, nothing I say today will change it. But if one more person votes that wasn't going to before, that is worth it to me. 

Danielle Bettmann  2:46  
Now, I know there are many things that may keep people from the polls. There are logistics the day of getting transportation or time off. It may seem like a lot to research and you don't keep up with politics, or you don't have a lot of free time I get it. It may feel like you just can't trust politicians, or just feels like things are bad on both sides. It may feel like it won't really affect you, or your vote won't matter, or you just don't like any of the options.

Danielle Bettmann  3:18  
All of those feelings are valid.

Danielle Bettmann  3:22  
I would love to offer you candidates in every race that you fully align with, in all of your beliefs that you know and trust personally and believe in their character and know exactly what will happen over the next two to four years and how they will handle it.

Danielle Bettmann  3:41  
I can't offer you that.

Danielle Bettmann  3:44  
Here's the problem.  It's happening. These are our choices. People are going to get elected one way or another. Candidates that you don't agree with will win.  It will affect you and those you love, and you will have done nothing about it.

Danielle Bettmann  4:06  
Your vote is your power. The country is moving no matter what, but you get to help pick the direction it moves in.

Danielle Bettmann  4:18  
I do not believe that voting is a luxury that we parents have the choice to opt out of. We can't afford to do nothing. There's too much at stake as parents. We have the privilege of using our voices to speak up for the voices of our kids under 18 who don't have one. Our kids are, quite literally, depending on us. Your kids are depending on you.

Danielle Bettmann  4:49  
Now I believe in voting like every person, every citizen is family, even if a particular policy doesn't benefit or affect your family (yet). Considering the impact of more than just the "what's in it for me?" or "what's in it for my wallet?" That is what my evangelical Christian, "What Would Jesus do?" bracelet childhood taught me. But let's talk specifically about your family, because you never know the social services that you might need to economically break free and give your kids a healthier home life a few years from now, most Americans live paycheck to paycheck and are one medical emergency away from bankruptcy. You never know the help your area might need due to a natural disaster a year from now, you never know the medical procedures your daughter may need to save her life. One day, you never know and the next four years, what resources your child may need from your local public school district. You never know the bullying they may endure or the diagnosis they may receive.

Danielle Bettmann  6:00  
Every child and every parent in this country wants to feel safe safe, to make the decisions that are right for them and have access to the resources that will provide what their loved ones need. To me, one of the biggest differences between the two parties is the policy decisions related to either expanding and looking to expand more of those services and opportunities, or looking to cut those. 

Danielle Bettmann  6:27  
Just as important as voting for candidates that feel like they represent a closer depiction to the vision and possibilities you share for your state and your country, there are a lot of grassroots petitions that have put critical life saving measures on the ballot in many states this fall. This election, not just the presidential election, but everything on the ballot will absolutely shape the future our kids grow up in what gets funded and what doesn't what rates Continue and which go backwards and whether our democracy continues, the next two to three Supreme Court justices that are chosen, to name a few reasons. 

Danielle Bettmann  7:08  
I cannot urge you enough make sure you have a plan to vote. We have already gotten our mail in ballots and voted over the weekend. We love doing mail in ballots the absentee because it feels like an open book test. We can truly take our time in front of our computer, researching each judge, researching each ballot issue, and feeling really well educated on every single vote. The big, incremental change happens at the local level, every vote counts, especially in the smallest races. 

Danielle Bettmann  7:47  
Can I just say I am so excited to be voting for Madam Vice President, Kamala Harris? I'll be honest, a few months ago, I really didn't have a strong opinion of her. I'd go so far to say that if I had an opinion. It wasn't that favorable. But as I've gotten to know her over the last 70 ish days, I've been blown away by her authenticity, genuine compassion and empathy. Who she is and how much she cares shines through every interaction she has with an American. For the policies I care deeply about, I'm confident that she's the candidate that will act in the best interest of all people.

Danielle Bettmann  8:26  
One of the first things I did when I found out that she was running was read her entire Wikipedia page. Now I know my kids would give me a hard time, because, let's say that's not a credible source, but I knew that it would give me lots of facts with very few opinions, and if you haven't spent an hour reading it, I honestly would urge you to her actions, her track record. They speak volumes for the kind of person she is. And every chance I've gotten to hear her speak, I've become more and more compelled to believe she has what it takes, including the character it takes, to move our country forward, often because, not in spite of the fact that she is a woman.

Danielle Bettmann  9:07  
And Tim Walz, there's no one out there that can find a bad thing to say about Tim Walz. The actions that he's taken in Minnesota, highlighting just one, signing free breakfast and lunch into law for all public schools, is exactly what this country needs: more empathy, more understanding, meeting people's core needs, so that they can do more than just get by, but get ahead.

Danielle Bettmann  9:33  
And there's so much I could say, and I cannot speak to it all, but I will say this, I believe you can be pro life and vote for pro choice candidates.  I'm afraid to admit this out loud, guys, but in high school, I remember protesting at a local Planned Parenthood with my church or Christian School at the time. I wanted to save the babies! I had no idea what I did not understand at the time. And here are just a few of the facts, most women who get abortions are already mothers. There are now 20 states that's one in three women in the United States that live in states that have abortion bans, where doctors are becoming terrified to provide the medical care these women need, because they can go to jail, so they are forced to watch and wait as women get close enough to death for them to intervene. And women are dying. Kids are losing their mothers, let alone the ramifications it is having on IVF and contraception.  I know if you're pro life that is not what you want.

Danielle Bettmann  10:43  
Being pro choice means trusting doctors more than old men career politicians and state legislatures that couldn't answer answer simple questions about women's anatomy and reproductive health. Being pro choice means trusting other women, rather than making wild accusations and believing lies that they don't take these decisions seriously, or in many cases, that this child is not very much wanted.  Being pro choice means making calculated decisions that consider not only the life of the child, but the mother and the millions of children already born whose parents are struggling in poverty or are suffering in the foster care system or are being shot to death in elementary school.

Danielle Bettmann  11:33  
I believe you can be pro life and vote for pro choice candidates, because there is so much more going on than being a single issue voter.  You do not have to give up your faith and your beliefs in order to allow someone else the access to medical care that they need.

Danielle Bettmann  11:57  
And remember a few more disclaimers. The person you vote for, you do not have to agree with them on everything. In fact, you shouldn't put them on a pedestal. You should put them into office and then pressure them to enact the policies that you are looking for. You're looking for potential in a candidate that you are never going to agree with a candidate on everything, nor should you. They are a bus ticket that is going in the direction of your destination. They are never going to get you perfectly there. But if one bus is going in the opposite direction of your destination, one is going in the direction that you want to go in get on that bus, there are only two busses. There are only two busses. Get on the bus that is going to take you closer to where you want to go, because that gives you the potential for more and more of the outcomes that you need and are looking for. You are not going to agree with them on everything, and you can continue to criticize them and pressure them for more and more policies down the road, that is the goal.

Danielle Bettmann  13:05  
And remember, there are public records from where what campaigns you donate to, and whether or not you do vote, but the way you vote and who you vote for, 100% private no one can find out who you voted for. If you don't feel safe sharing it, if needed, you can tell someone you voted for one person while voting for another, and no one can find out.

Danielle Bettmann  13:31  
So if you haven't yet, there is still time go to vote.org to find all the details for registration, early voting and day of info for your state, just scroll down and select your state on the home page. In my home state of Nebraska, there's still time to register to vote. The deadline by mail and online is Friday the 18th, and in person is Friday the 25th. Early voting has already begun here, and Election Day is Tuesday, November 5. If you're voting in person, you do need to bring a photo ID with you this year in Nebraska, more resources will be in the show notes and links will be below.

Danielle Bettmann  14:14  
When we fight, we win, get out there, do your part, and if you already have, I am so proud of you and your kids are too. Thank you.

Danielle Bettmann  14:29  
Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Failing Motherhood. Your kids are so lucky to have you. If you loved this episode, take a screenshot right now share it in your Instagram stories, and tag me. If you love the podcast, be sure that you've subscribed and leave a review so we can help more moms know they are not alone if they feel like they're failing motherhood on a daily basis, and if you're ready to transform your relationship with your strong willed child and invest in the support you need to make it happen -schedule your free consultation using the link in the show notes. I can't wait to meet you. Thanks for coming on this journey with me. I believe in you and I'm cheering you on.